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Cultivate Compassion
In order to become aware of this learned response, it helps to have a strategy for getting in touch with your feelings as opposed to reacting automatically and suppressing them with food. Getting in touch with these feelings can be painful, and it will require courage to consciously change your response. Keep in mind that with a plan and true willingness to take action, you can free yourself of old emotional habits.
Here is what you will need:
Compassionate inner thoughts. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Use compassionate inner language that describes your feelings such as “I am feeling hurt,” or “I am angry.” That’s all, no opinions needed, just validation. Recognize that it is fine to feel your feelings; they are there to protect you from threats. The purpose is to bring these feelings into awareness by noticing yourself in the act. Now ask yourself if this mindless eating will change anything, is it worth it? This step is crucial in breaking the emotional eating cycle. You are catching yourself in the act, recognizing your feelings, and bringing mindfulness to your actions so that you can take conscious steps to change your response, or perhaps realize that you need to change your environment.
A promise to nurture yourself. After you have stopped yourself from acting on impulse, nurture yourself. Treat yourself, even the simplest of things can relax you and make you feel good. Take a bath, buy a magazine on your way home, or even call a friend. When you are ready, let go of the feelings that drive you to eat. You can do so with reassuring words such as “I have to return to work now,” “But I will think about this later,” and “I will find a way to deal with it.” The best way to live up this promise is to keep a journal— remember that writing your thoughts is part of the process.
A commitment to understand yourself. Make sure you follow up on your promises to yourself. If something bothers you, dedicate time to think about the incident before going to sleep. Make sure to write down details of what caused a certain reaction. Include the place, time, parties involved, what was said, your reaction and what foods you reached for. Pay attention to what triggered a particular eating episode.
Consider the following factors to help you become more aware:
Social. Eating around other people. For example, excessive eating can result from being encouraged by others to eat, eating to fit in, arguing, or feelings of inadequacy around other people.
Emotional. Eating in response to boredom, stress, fatigue, tension, depression, anger, anxiety or loneliness as a way to "fill the void."
Situational. Eating because the opportunity is there. An example is to see an advertisement that makes you crave for a particular food. This can be at a restaurant, the street etc. Eating may also be associated with certain activities such as watching TV, going to the movies or a sporting event, etc.
Negative Thoughts. Eating as a result of negative self-worth or making excuses for eating. For example, scolding oneself for looks or a lack of will power.
Physiological. Eating in response to physical cues. For example, increased hunger due to skipping meals or eating to cure headaches or other pain.
Source: WebMD, Weight Loss: Emotional Eating. http://www.medicinenet.com
A creative mindset to finding another way. This applies to finding different ways of doing things, creating a new reality. You may find fulfilling ways to respond towards your feelings, or in some cases, find a new environment in which you can flourish.
Write down simple ways you can break the link between feelings and food. You may want to divide this information into four columns: cause, feelings, foods eaten or craved, and coping ideas. Writing this information will help you identify triggers and patterns that will assist you with developing a practical plan. If you become overwhelmed by this exercise, take the time to feel your feelings. Respect this process and the insight that it will bring.
Take Conscious Action
Once you have started the process of becoming aware of your reactions, practice conscious action by setting up your environment and committing your solutions to memory. Write them down, try them out and adjust them to prevent you from responding automatically. Practice no more than three ideas at a time.
Select a safe place. Think of ways to distance yourself from places, situations, and/or people that provoke discomfort, especially if it causes you to break the learned response. Avoid places where you can easily reach for food, and make sure your surroundings do not cause you eating anxiety. For example, a safe place at work can be the restroom, there are no foods and it is away from whatever causes your reaction. An excuse, such as going to the restroom, removes yourself from the situation and will help you break the impulse to react mindlessly.
Distract your obsession. Since one of the many places you can purposely calm down is the restroom, take deep breaths and focus on the action. Another simple way to cope can be sipping water slowly while calming yourself down with reassuring words such as “I am angry, it’s ok, it will pass, I can handle this” and sip water, deep breath. You can also try talking to a co-worker, or a friend on the phone, stepping outside for a short walk, clean the top of your desk, etc. This is an important step because you will be moving out of your safety zone, you will be taking deliberate actions against the impulse to eat.
Learn to distinguish physical hunger. Emotional hunger is a sudden response to a particular stimulus, while physical hunger sets in gradually. Keep in mind that when you are eating to fill a void, you crave specific foods. Also, when you are hungry you tend to be more open to possibilities. In addition, learn to recognize when your body has had enough by eating slowly. Test your hunger reflex on a day when stress is minimal. Wait to eat until you are hungry. Be prepared to respond with a healthy, balanced, well portioned meal (see LATINA Style, Vol. 13, No.1, 2007). Eat your meal slowly, chew and savor every morsel. Stop eating when you feel satisfied. If you still feel hungry, do not reach for a second serving, wait at least 20 minutes for the signal of fullness to register in your body. Slow down, make time for eating. Be patient, practice getting to know your body’s signals. Sip water instead of reaching for second servings.
Keep healthy foods at home and at the office. Keep healthy foods at home and at the office. Get rid of all unhealthy, high calorie snacks and foods from your kitchen, office and purse. Replace them with healthy alternatives packaged in small, ready to eat portions.
Exercise regularly and consistently. This is one of the most important steps you can take to balance your emotions. Walking, for example will provide you with the time to think, clear and recreate your mind. Making the time to walk daily can become your daily therapy, a way to nurture yourself and get in touch with your feelings and your body.
Follow your bliss when it comes to moving, take a belly dance class if you like group exercising, learn how to roller-skate if you prefer to be outside, or enroll in Tai-chi if you prefer a meditative type of exercise. Dancing is also a great alternative to getting in touch with the joyful part of you. And moving in response to music can make you soar, dream and relax improving your attitude and unleashing your creativity.
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